How to train your customer support team in emotional intelligence

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Emotional intelligence, the ability to understand, manage, and respond to your own emotions and those of others, is a vital skill for anyone in a client-facing role. This is especially true in a field like customer support, where emotions can often run high and interactions can be intense. 

Emotional intelligence enables customer service representatives to understand and respond to the needs and emotions of customers with greater accuracy. This leads to more positive interactions and often makes the difference between average service and an exceptional support experience. 

Unfortunately, emotional intelligence doesn’t always come naturally. For many, it’s a skill that requires deliberate training and practice to master. 

In this guide, we explain the role emotional intelligence plays in customer service and how to create an effective emotional intelligence training program for your customer support team. 

We also share insights from customer experience experts on their best strategies to foster ongoing development of this essential skill. Finally, we explore the value of Aircall for teams that want to incorporate EI into their customer communications strategies and programs. 

Key takeaways

• Emotional intelligence, rooted in self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills, helps agents turn tense calls into trust-building moments.

• When agents respond to both the emotion and the issue, customer satisfaction and loyalty rise. 

• EI training reduces burnout and turnover by strengthening self-regulation and resilience, countering high burnout risk and widespread stress among agents.

• Effective EI programs start with assessment and clear objectives, then blend workshops, role-play, e-learning, and coaching, with measurement and iteration.

• Make EI a daily habit: mentor and model it, recognize “EQ wins,” embed it in reviews, and use real-time tools to coach during calls.

What is emotional intelligence? 

In simple terms, emotional intelligence is your ability to understand and control your own emotions, and to identify and influence the emotions of others. It helps you keep calm under pressure, read the room, and respond in a way that builds trust instead of tension.

Psychologists break emotional intelligence down into five key components:

• Self-awareness: Knowing your own emotions, triggers, and strengths, so you can navigate situations with clarity.

• Self-regulation: Being able to keep your emotions in check, even when things get stressful or frustrating.

• Motivation: Staying driven to achieve goals, not just for rewards but because you genuinely care about doing well.

• Empathy: Understanding what others are feeling and seeing situations from their perspective.

• Social skills: Building healthy customer relationships, communicating effectively, and resolving conflicts smoothly.

TL;DR: Emotional intelligence in customer support enables agents to handle difficult situations calmly, understand customer needs more accurately, and create positive experiences that build lasting relationships.

The importance of emotional intelligence in customer support

Customer support is a high-pressure role; that goes without saying. Reps constantly deal with a steady flow of issues and customer emotions, from mild confusion to intense frustration or anger.

This is where emotional intelligence comes in, helping agents navigate these complex dynamics with ease. For example, when a customer expresses frustration over a delayed order, a support agent can easily recognize their anxiety, respond with empathy, and provide a solution that addresses both the emotional and practical sides of the problem.

When support agents bring emotional intelligence to every interaction, customers feel heard, understood, and valued. Below are some of the ways this skill transforms the support experience. 

Higher customer satisfaction 

Emotional intelligence helps agents tune into the feelings behind a customer’s words. By recognizing frustration or anxiety early, they can respond with empathy and reassurance instead of just a scripted fix. This approach makes customers feel valued and respected, which often matters as much as resolving the issue itself.

Increased brand loyalty 

A poor customer support experience can push customers away, but it doesn’t have to. By addressing customers' concerns with genuine care and empathy, you build trust that keeps customers coming back. In fact, according to Salesforce, 89% of customers said they would make another purchase at a brand after a positive customer support experience.

Reduced employee burnout and turnover

Nearly 60% of call center agents are at risk of burnout, with 87% reporting significant workplace stress^.3,4 Emotional intelligence training can be a game-changer here. Having a higher EQ reduces emotional exhaustion by helping employees recognize and regulate their own emotions so they don’t carry frustration from one interaction to the next. It also builds resilience by teaching agents to reframe negative interactions and prevent emotional “spillover,” lowering overall stress levels and reducing the risk of burnout.

Beyond stress management, EQ training equips agents with stronger conflict resolution skills. When agents feel confident handling difficult situations, they gain a stronger sense of control, experience less anxiety, and remain more engaged in their work. This results in better experiences for customers. 

And when agents are able to create more positive experiences for customers, they’re more likely to receive appreciation and recognition from both customers and managers. This feedback loop boosts morale and job satisfaction, keeping teams more engaged, motivated, and less likely to burn out or quit.

More sales and revenue

When customer support teams combine empathy with problem-solving, the impact goes beyond satisfaction, it drives revenue growth. Customers who feel understood are more likely to stay loyal, renew subscriptions, and resist switching to competitors

Emotional intelligence equips agents with sharper listening and empathy skills, helping them spot subtle cues about unmet needs. For example, an agent who notices a client struggling to scale their support team can suggest upgrading to a higher-tier plan with automation. Framed as understanding rather than sales pressure, the upsell feels like genuine support.

In addition, emotionally intelligent service creates another positive feedback loop: happier customers share their experiences, boosting your brand’s reputation and attracting new business.

Creating an effective emotional intelligence training program

You’ve seen how emotional intelligence transforms customer service. Now it’s time to put it into practice. Building an EQ training program for your support team takes a structured approach to make sure they develop the right skills quickly and effectively.

Not sure where to begin? Here’s a step-by-step guide to get you started.

1. Assess current level of emotional intelligence  

Figuring out your customer service reps’ emotional intelligence isn’t as simple as running a quick test or ticking a few boxes. It’s a skill set that shows up in subtle ways like tone of voice, choice of words, and how an agent handles tricky moments. That’s why it’s worth taking a few different approaches to really understand where your team stands.

As Anupa Rongala, CEO of Invensis, puts it: “Emotional intelligence has become non-negotiable in customer support. The most telling assessment tool isn't a questionnaire—it’s observing how someone handles a tough customer conversation under pressure. Listening in on live interactions and reviewing support tickets with emotional tone in mind provides far more clarity than static evaluations.”

Here’s how to start:

• Use formal EI assessments to establish a baseline for each team member.

• Review behavioural cues in live or recorded calls, such as recognising customer emotions, managing tone during tense moments, resolving conflicts without defensiveness, and following up at the end of interactions.

• Gather multiple perspectives through self-reflection exercises, post-call surveys, and 360° peer or manager feedback to build a fuller picture of emotional strengths and weaknesses.

This assessment and the findings from it will serve as a baseline for your training efforts. It will help you identify gaps and determine where you can make the most significant improvements. 

As Hayley Leddy, Client Success Director at EY Catalyst, says: “Rather than relying solely on formal assessments, I believe in co-creating emotional intelligence within the team. That starts early — when things are quiet — by building rapport, agreeing on shared norms and values, and creating a psychologically safe space.” 

2. Set clear objectives

Next, set clear objectives for your training program. Use the findings from Step 1 as your guide. 

For example, if your assessment shows your customer support team struggles with empathy, set an objective to improve their ability to recognize and respond to customer emotions. If self-regulation is a weak spot, focus on giving them techniques to manage their emotions and remain calm under pressure. 

With that said, when it comes to EI, there are a few non-negotiables that should be part of every training plan:

• Active listening: Train reps to fine tune their active listening skills and focus fully on what the customer is saying (and what they’re not saying), so they can respond in a way that shows understanding.

• Conflict resolution: Equip agents with strategies to de-escalate tense situations, find common ground, and work toward a positive outcome without defensiveness.

• Developing self-awareness: Help your customer service employees recognize their own triggers, biases, and emotional patterns so they can respond intentionally rather than react impulsively.

• Stress management: Give reps tools to stay calm and composed under pressure, even during back-to-back difficult interactions.

Clear objectives make it easier to measure progress, tailor coaching, and keep training focused on the skills that have the biggest impact on customer satisfaction.

3. Decide training format

With your objectives set, it’s time to select your training format. It's important to note that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach here. The right format will depend on your organization's unique needs, goals, and circumstances.

Generally, an effective EI training program should include a mix of learning methods and tools to accommodate different learning styles. Here are some of the best options to consider:

Workshops

These are interactive in-person or virtual sessions where participants engage in discussions, activities, and exercises designed to enhance their understanding of emotional intelligence concepts. These sessions encourage group participation and foster collaborative learning.

Josh Qian, COO and co-founder of LINQ Kitchen, explains how his team makes workshops more impactful:

“We use mirroring exercises where agents practice actively reflecting a customer's stated emotion and then rephrasing their problem to ensure true understanding, not just hearing. We also bring in external communication coaches for workshops on managing personal triggers and maintaining composure under pressure, teaching specific breathing and mental reframing techniques to de-escalate internally before responding externally.”

Role-playing

Role-playing is a powerful, hands-on method for developing emotional intelligence in customer support teams. It provides an opportunity to simulate real-life interactions in a safe and controlled environment.  

Here, customer service team leaders, supervisors, or trainers can present various customer scenarios. Support agents then work through them while receiving feedback and guidance on how to navigate each interaction’s emotional dynamics.

“Role-playing in a small group can be a game changer. We ask volunteers to swap roles with support and vice versa so they experience both sides of a difficult interaction, says Dawson Whitfield, CEO and Co-Founder of Looka.com. 

“We then conduct a debrief where everyone shares one moment they appreciated and one they found hard. That relaxed, safe environment allows them to open up more.”

Common customer support scenarios you can incorporate into your role-playing exercises include:

• Handling a frustrated customer who has experienced a support failure (e.g. product issue, a missed delivery, or poor customer support).

• Resolving an issue for a customer who feels misunderstood or ignored.

• De-escalating a call where the customer is threatening to cancel their service.

E-learning modules

Another option are E-learning modules. This approach offers a flexible, self-paced way for customer service teams to learn about emotional intelligence concepts through videos, quizzes, and interactive content. Agents can revisit learning materials at any time (and from anywhere) to reinforce their understanding of emotional intelligence.

Coaching and feedback

Support coaching combined with real-time feedback is yet another powerful way to impart emotional intelligence skills to your customer service team. This particular approach can include the following components:

• Ongoing personalized coaching: Supervisors or coaches work closely with individual agents or small groups, offering one-on-one guidance tailored to each person’s or group’s strengths and areas for improvement.

• Real-time feedback: supervisors observe live customer calls, using solutions like Aircall, and provide immediate feedback on how to manage customer emotions better.

• Post-call analysis: Managers review recorded calls to give targeted feedback. They highlight moments where agents show strong emotional intelligence (like active listening or empathy), and identify areas where agents could improve.

Dedicated skills-sharing and emotional resilience days

Hayley Leddy, Client Success Director at EY Catalyst, also highlighted the value of dedicated skills-sharing and emotional resilience days. These sessions introduce diverse, team-relevant topics, create space for open perspectives, and let teams work through real scenarios that were difficult to handle.

The purpose goes beyond delivering training. By sharing experiences and building strategies together, teams create a collective toolkit and mindset for navigating complexity. This intentional practice strengthens trust, improves collaboration, and equips people to handle challenges with greater resilience.

4. Develop engaging training content

Once you choose the appropriate training formats, the next step is to develop engaging and relevant training content. The content should align with your goals and cater to different learning preferences.

You can either create the content in-house or hire an external training team specializing in emotional intelligence. External experts often add fresh perspectives and proven methodologies that may resonate more with your team.

Keep the content practical and interactive. Use from your organization or industry to make the lessons stick. Also, case studies, hands-on exercises, and relatable examples help agents connect the training to their day-to-day challenges and apply what they learn right away. 

5. Implement the program

Now it’s time to roll out the training program with your agents fully on board. Emotional intelligence training can feel abstract or even like criticism if framed poorly, so, position it as a growth opportunity from the start.

Highlight the tangible benefits they’ll experience.They’ll handle fewer escalations, enjoy smoother customer interactions, and feel less burned out. Stronger emotional intelligence also opens doors for career growth because it sets them apart and creates leadership opportunities. When agents see EI as empowering rather than corrective, they’re more likely to engage and embrace the training.

As for the training itself, set realistic schedules that fit into your team’s daily flow. Break the program into smaller, manageable modules spread over several weeks. This approach prevents overwhelm and helps information stick. Track attendance and engagement so you know who’s participating and who might need extra support.

Plan thoughtfully and communicate the “why” clearly. When agents understand the link between emotional intelligence and better performance, they commit to developing the skill. 

As Danilo Coviello, founding partner at Espresso Translations, puts it: “I make it practical and demonstrate how it will pay off- such as how last year our group managed three crisis projects without losing any clients and I made sure all of them were aware of the connection between that cool demeanor when the project was on fire and our EQ efforts.” 

6. Evaluate and adapt your training program

After you implement the training program, evaluate its effectiveness and adjust as needed.

Conduct assessments during and after the training program to measure knowledge retention and skill application. Use surveys, self-assessments, or even live observation of customer interactions.

Also gather feedback from participants on the training's relevance and effectiveness. Ask what worked well, what needs improvement, and how they plan to apply their new customer service skills.

Use the feedback and assessment data to refine your training content, format, or delivery methods for future sessions. Commit to continuous improvement to keep the program relevant, address evolving customer support challenges, and deliver lasting impact for your team.

Best practices for training your customer support team in emotional intelligence 

Emotional intelligence training can’t be bottled up in a single session or a checklist. It’s messy, human, and sometimes uncomfortable, but that’s where the real growth happens. Here are our top customer service practices to make that process practical, meaningful, and, yes, even a little bit inspiring.

#1: EI training is ongoing 

Emotional intelligence training doesn’t happen in a one-time lesson; it develops and grows stronger over time. Keep your team’s EI sharp by integrating it into your long-term development strategy. Offer refresher courses and advanced workshops to build upon the EI skills they gain.

#2. Start a mentorship program 

Establish a mentorship program that pairs experienced agents with newer team members. Experienced agents provide real-time feedback and support to help newcomers navigate challenging situations and build their confidence in applying emotional intelligence skills. This peer learning approach fosters a culture of collaboration and mutual understanding within your customer support team.

#3. EI must be a core component of your team culture 

To make emotional intelligence a true cornerstone of your team culture, treat it like you would any key value or company goal. Make it visible: posters with EI tips, weekly challenges like “pause and reflect before responding,” or quick team huddles to talk through interactions with difficult or upset customers.

Ryan McCallister, President and Founder at F5 Mortgage, says: “Emotional intelligence is applied when I encourage my team members to share their problems and their success during the team meetings. In continuing these conversations, I am slowly making sure that it would be a standard idea that emotional intelligence is not a skill that one can learn once but a habit that one can engage in frequently.

Encourage leaders to model emotional intelligence openly: showing vulnerability, admitting when they’ve had an off day, and demonstrating how to bounce back. When EI is practiced from the top down, it filters naturally into everyday behaviour and sets the tone for the whole team.

As Bill Berman, CEO of Berman Leadership, explains: “Leaders need to model emotional regulation themselves—I worked with one insurance company CEO who started sharing his own stress management techniques in team meetings. When the top demonstrates vulnerability and EI skills, it cascades down naturally.”

#4. Recognize and reward emotional intelligence in your team

Recognition goes a long way when it comes to building emotional intelligence in your team. Celebrate moments when agents handle difficult situations with empathy, patience, or calm professionalism. It could be a shout-out in a team meeting, a personal note from a manager, or a small reward. Acknowledging these behaviours reinforces their value and motivates others to follow suit.

“We weave EI moments into some of our meetings, asking reps to share one win and one challenge that required empathy or self-awareness. Celebrating those small “EQ wins” in our #wins Slack channel makes it feel normal to talk about feelings.” – Dawson Whitfield, CEO and Co-Founder of Looka.com. 

Make emotional intelligence part of your feedback loops and performance reviews, not just as a “nice-to-have,” but as a core skill that contributes to success. When your team sees that EI leads to real recognition and growth, they’re more likely to invest in developing it.

“Getting buy-in requires connecting EI directly to their success metrics and career advancement. I show teams data on how emotional intelligence correlates with promotion rates and customer retention. One client saw 25% higher internal promotion rates among high-EI support reps, which immediately motivated others to engage in the training.” – Bill Berman, CEO of Berman Leadership

How Aircall can help foster more emotionally intelligent interactions

Emotional intelligence separates good customer support from truly exceptional experiences. It’s the ability to tune into customers’ feelings, stay calm under pressure, and respond with empathy. 

But developing these customer service skills across a team takes time and consistent effort. Without the right tools, even well-trained agents can struggle to apply emotional intelligence in the heat of the moment. That’s why solutions like Aircall are invaluable. They give your team the tools they need to put EI into practice during every call.

Aircall’s call center software gives small and medium-sized businesses like yours tools and features designed to support emotionally intelligent customer interactions. 

One such feature is sentiment analysis, which detects and analyzes customer satisfaction and emotions after a conversation. These insights empower your team to tailor future interactions with a more thoughtful, emotionally intelligent approach.

Last, but not least, the live monitoring feature lets you to listen in on customer conversations and provide discreet, real-time guidance or coaching to agents without the customer knowing. You can use this feature to guide less experienced team members through challenging conversations as they happen.

Ready to see it in action? Book a demo today and discover how Aircall can help your team deliver more emotionally intelligent customer interactions.

Frequently asked questions on emotional intelligence in customer service

What is emotional intelligence in customer service?

Emotional intelligence in customer service means  support agents understand and manage their own emotions, while also recognizing and responding appropriately to customers’ emotions. They stay calm, show empathy, and communicate in ways that make customers feel heard and valued, even during tough interactions.

Why is emotional intelligence important in customer service?

Emotional intelligence turns difficult customer interactions into positive experiences. When agents read emotions accurately and respond with empathy and patience, they reduce escalations, build trust, and leave customers feeling satisfied. It also improves the well-being and job satisfaction of customer service representatives, creating a better environment for everyone.

How can you apply emotional intelligence in customer service?

You apply emotional intelligence by practicing active listening, recognizing customer feelings (like frustration, confusion, or anxiety), and respond calmly and with understanding. It requires managing your own emotional reactions, staying patient during challenges, and finding solutions that address both the customer’s practical needs and emotional concerns. Training, self-awareness, and feedback are key to building these exceptional customer service skills.

Sources

Khoros. Must-know customer service statistics of 2024. https://khoros.com/blog/must-know-customer-service-statistics 

Salesforce. State of the Connected Customer. https://c1.sfdcstatic.com/content/dam/web/en_us/www/documents/research/salesforce-state-of-the-connected-customer-4th-ed.pdf 

Jeff Toister. Contact Center Agent Burnout. https://www.toistersolutions.com/burnout 

Cornell eCommons. Making call center jobs better: The relationship between management practices and worker stress. https://ecommons.cornell.edu/server/api/core/bitstreams/e4ae98ca-9034-4f68-8be9-86885905f403/content 

Published on December 16, 2024.